wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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