Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
