You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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