that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
