Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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