So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
