I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
