You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize