i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
