She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
