they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
