So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Damn victory sex feels great
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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