the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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