It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
