Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
