Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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