He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
