Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
