i just had sex bonerless
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
