I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
