i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
