Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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