Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
