just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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