Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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