i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
