And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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