the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The beer is more important than you right now.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
