winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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