I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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