just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
