UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
