There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
