I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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