areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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