Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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