If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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