Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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