We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
