He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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