I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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