I love black thongs
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
