Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
