Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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