Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
