What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
