he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
