First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
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Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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