Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
