Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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