4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she woke up with a sticky ear
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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