It's Friday. Sex?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
